Can you Adam and Eve it? I still can’t! The League of Legends and the opening match with Big E! What happened? I played brilliantly in practice and then couldn’t hit my doubles when it mattered most!

Nothing changes in this game. It’s still scoring for show (I do a lot of that) and doubles for dough (I don’t do enough of that)! Marie always tells me that I can never finish!

Mind you, I felt more like a pole dancer than a darts player on that Circus Tavern stage!

I’ve got toilets bigger than that!

It also made me realise why the PDC introduced an ‘exclusion zone’ behind the players……there’s more pushing and touching than on the London Underground.

Never mind ‘We Are The Champions’ I think I’ll change my play-on music to ‘Do You Want To Touch Me’ for the rest of The Legends tour!

Having said all that, Eric played well and so did the rest of us. I think we surprised a few critics out there (with the possible exception of a bad tempered Giles Smith of The Times). There were plenty of 180’s, but just to satisfy Mr.Smith I reckon we should introduce ’69 boards.

After all, The Legends can still score well enough!

THAT’S THE WAY TO SCORE IT!

Other than the darts, I am enjoying the crack of The Legends dates. The crowds are fantastic and, let’s face it, we are there to entertain them with good darts and the odd bit of the old magic on the oche.

It’s also great to be on Setanta Sports knowing that we are providing, together with the BDO International Grand Prix Series, 13 extra days of televised darts.

Just like Sky, there are not the millions of viewers that we enjoy when the BBC show the World Masters and World Pro. That’s disappointing. But we will build-up our audiences here and more importantly, we are taking our darts to new audiences – including going live in Australia and North America, which can only be good for our sport and the players.

THAT’S THE WAY TO LEGENDS IT!

Staying with The Legends, did you see the beautiful blonde who led me onto the stage at the Circus Tavern?

Well, she’s in the family way at George Hall! Hold it!! Let me put that another way: She has become part of our family since she started going out with my son Richard in January.

Her name is Chantelle Heeley, but I call her ‘Shan’t tell’ or ‘Can’t tell’ or ‘Won’t tell’ Heeley. It makes her blush a bit, but she’s become quite a hit as a Sunday People ‘Double Top Girl’.

The People are recruiting good-looking girls local to the areas in which The Legends dates are being played, and as an Essex girl she was chosen for the Circus Tavern.

She’s proved so popular that The People are now using her to promote the Double Top Girls.

Hope you like the photo of me and ‘Shan’t tell’, sorry Chantelle at the Circus Tavern. It looks like it’s me leading her on to the stage, but she’s actually making sure that no one blows my candles out!

The other photo shows one of those rare moments in darts history: John Lowe buying me a drink! You will notice that he’s only got a fiver out and there are no prizes for guessing who looks the happiest!
An even rarer photo would be of me buying John, Eric or any of the other Legends a drink!

THAT’S THE WAY TO DRINK IT!

Staying on the subject of fivers that’s the name of our latest George Hall puppy – a lovely Jack Russell, who has been named Fiver for two reasons: All our dogs have a name that is connect to money, and he’s No.5.

The full list now eating me out of house and home are: Dosh, 2P, Visa, Gilder and now Fiver.

THAT’S THE WAY TO FIVER IT!

I’ve been doing yet another TV programme for BBC-2. At this rate I’ll become a celebrity!

It’s called ‘Scene Stealers’ and I am one of three judges on a panel who has to decide which one of two CHAVS – one male and one female – is lying about who they are.

It’s a bit like trying to identify Pro Life only more entertaining!

I don’t even know what a CHAV is! The programme makers told me that they are people who like to wear fake designer clothes and bling.

Anyway, I can’t tell you any more about the show because I don’t want to spoil the ending. Just watch out for it on BBC-2. I’m the one wearing the real bling and NOT a CHAV!

THAT’S THE WAY TO CHAV IT!

Now on to some nicer darting things….

It was a real pleasure to present the prizes at the Walton Youth Open (nothing to do with John Boy) and meet so many lovely people.

It was the Youth Presentation at the Walton Youth Open at Walton-on-the-Naze in Essex (told you it was nothing to do with John Boy) and what impressed me was the way everything was staged in the most professional way possible.

They even had cameras and big screens to give the youngsters a good idea of what it is like to be involved in a big tournament. It wasn’t Lakeside, but it was something of which the Walton crowd can be very proud of.

This was again borne out when I was at the Finals night and presentation of Surrey Youth at Epsom British Legion. I played a few games with the winners, but it was the young lad who did the calling that caught my eye.

He presented himself well and did a great job…..definitely one for the future, but where are the others?

Let’s face it, just as much as we need talented young players coming through the ranks (and there are loads of them) we also urgently need young officials and administrators (there aren’t quite so many of them).

It is something that the BDO counties need to be addressing, because we probably have the best officials in the world right now, but like me, they are getting older every day!

There must be lots of youngsters out there who know that they can’t throw darts as well as some of their mates. But they can still count and enjoy organising events and getting involved. These are the ones who need to be encouraged to turn their attentions to becoming officials of the future.

We all know that we can’t player proper, organised darts without proper organisation. Ask the Godftaher Olly Croft, he’s been showing people how to do it for 35 years.

Maybe there should be an Olly Croft course for officials of the future?

A big pat of the back also to Dave Creamer, who does a brilliantg job for Surrey Youth. .Dave is typical of the dedicated and enthusiastic darts officials who keep this great sport of ours alive, well and flourishing.

Never mind the pop stars, these are the people who matter in our sport, but sadly they are a dying breed. Never mind players, what our sport (in common with a lot of other sports) needs is YOUNG officials and administrators.

THAT’S THE WAY TO OFFICIAL IT!

Going from youngsters to the more mature, I was on BBC Radio Kent recently talking about a scheme to learn the over 60’s how to count.

To be honest, I told them that at that age it was a bit late, and as long as they could count their pensions, they were probably happy!

No, most older people have a good grasp of the times tables and mental arithmetic, the ones to concentrate on are the youngsters – as the BDO and I have been doing over the years with the government ‘Get On’ campaign, or simply going into schools and talking to the kids and showing them how to count by playing darts.

By the time you read this I will have been into Beckenham School to talk to the kids about maths and darts, but I can’t go all round the country doing it. I reckon that darts should be put on the curriculum and an aid to learning maths. At the same time it will also learn kids some good manners and sportsmanship and improve their social skills.

What an asset to education!

If you think about it, most kids first get a feel for mathematics by telling the time. It is a great way of teaching them numbers and combinations, just as it is on the dartboard.

I find that most people look at a dartboard and just see the ring of numbers and don’t immediately appreciate the mathematical combinations that lie within that ring of numbers.

For example, when I asked the Radio Kent presenter (who had the usual opinion that darts is all about pubs and drink) how many way there are to score a 9-dart 501, he thought maybe there were a couple.

He was amazed, and so were many of his listeners, when I told him that there are in fact 3,944 different sequences for achieving a 9-darter!

Maybe I should become a Professor of Darts and I could then write under the title of Prof George!

THAT’S THE WAY TO PROF IT!

A bit of a mixed bag this month, but I’ve enjoyed it. Don’t forget to catch The League Of Legends on Setanta. We’ll be at the Hilton Hotel, Birmingham on June 27th and the famous Batley Frontier Variety Club (almost as famous as Lakeside) on July 18th.

Don’t also forget to tune into Setanta Sports for two BDO International Grand Prix dates in July – the BDO Gold Cup at Lakeside on July 12th, and the BDO British Classic on July 26th.

Great darts and great TV!

Hasta la Vista…….I’ll be back next month!

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