Didn’t he do well? My boy Richie
got to the final of the Junior IDL and should have
won it. But, he played well, looked good (almost as
good as the old man) and showed that he can perform
on the big stage (just like the old man!).
That’s what’s so important
about introducing youngsters at the very highest levels
of darts. He had all the lights, cameras and razzamatazz
and loved it (just like the old man) and I was proud
THAT’S THE WAY TO DO IT!
Didn’t they do well? The BDO/WDF
players in this year’s IDL proved that, despite
all the hype, they are as good (or even better) than
the rest of them. But then, as a darts player, I know
better than most that darts is on the day and at the
very highest level there is only one or two darts
Watching on the internet was frustrating
because the coverage from SBS is nowhere near as good
as we get on BBC or Sky, and every time the screen
froze (which was often) I felt like putting my foot
It was a good tournament for top-class
darts and out of all the players I have to congratulate
young Mark Webster and Gary Anderson on getting to
the final without losing a single game.
In a tournament with two Round Robin
sections that is a bit special….as was a final
without an Englishman or Dutchman in sight!
Despite all the hype and bragging
at times, darts still remains one of the most exciting
and unpredictable sports on the planet, and great
Well done to all those who made the
2007 IDL something that none of us would have predicted
beforehand (if that makes sense?).
THE WAY TO DART IT!
Do You Think I’m Stupid? Answers
on a postcard please!
Seriously, I am not asking that question
about myself because, as I explained in my May column,
this is the title for a brand new ITV-1 celebrity
series at prime time this autumn.
Those who were paying attention will
know that I am up against Vanessa Feltz - not in the
physical meaning of the description, but more in a
mental capacity. She’s off her trolley and I’m
Only joking, Vanessa! The object of
the TV show is that I pick a subject for her and she
picks one for me to be quizzed on in front of a studio
audience and hopefully a huge TV audience on ITV.
Anyway, I picked fishing for her and
she picked the life and times of…wait for it….Geoffrey
Chaucer for me!! Blimey, she becomes a hooker (if
you see what I mean) and I become a booker, because
I had to gen up on loads of books about Chaucer, learn
about his great works like ‘Canterbury Tales’
and get my head around the old English language, as
well as Latin.
All this from someone who left school
with nothing more than a life-saving badge and a school
report that doomed me to obscurity!
Well, we have now done the show and,
without giving too much away, no one can ever call
me stupid again – especially Vanessa.
I was introduced on the show as being:
‘Great on the Oche. Someone who can build anything.
A great actor……but Bobby doesn’t
The perfect summing up, but I proved
that I can read loads of books, soak up information
and answer loads of questions, not only on Chaucer,
but also in a general knowledge round.
As I say, I won’t give too much
away, but the shapely shape of Miss Feltz was seen
exiting the building after the show without so much
as a goodbye!
Mind you, she did send me an email
the next day which simply read: ‘Bobby, you
are the dog’s b.ll..ks!!
Says it all really!
The series of ‘Don’t Call
Me Stupid’ begins an 8 week run on ITV-1 from
September 27th at 10PM. Make a note in your diaries
now, but don’t worry, I am sure I will be giving
you plenty of reminders!
THE WAY TO CHAUCER IT
Latest news from the England Darts
Organisation is that the new England Open will be
played from April 11th to 13th, 2008 with ‘yours
truly’ dusting off his white jacket to host
Little Richard Ashdown will once again
MC and referee, and we are promised exhibition matches
featuring the two England Captains, Martin Adams and
Trina Gulliver...zzzzzzZZ. Only joking.
Honest….ZZZZZZzzzzzz!! You got
to have a laugh!!
I am told that prize money will be
in excess of £15,000 with both the Men’s
and Women’s Singles Champions taking home a
very tasty £2,000 each. Nice to see the ladies
picking up some decent prize money.
On top of this, I am delighted to
say that there will also be a free-to-enter Youth
Event for the talented boys and girls who are the
future of our sport.
The Chichester-based Bunn Leisure
Park, which can accommodate an incredible 14,000 people,
will be the venue for this first major event to be
staged and organised by the EDO following the restructuring
of the organisation.
This three-day event might seem a
long way off, but it deserves lots of support from
players and supporters.
THAT’S THE WAY TO EDO IT!
On the subject of darts exhibitions,
the ultimate is coming along shortly with a ‘Darts
Legends Tour’ featuring myself, Keith Deller,
Eric Bristow, Cliff Lazarenko.
It will herald my return to the Circus
Tavern, Purfleet at the end of August, when I can
be assured of a warmer welcome than the one I received
earlier in January, and it will have nothing to do
with the weather and everything to do with the audience
and those organising the event!
I have agreed to do a limited number
of dates, so if you fancy seeing how the old-un’s
do it (I am talking about playing darts) and enjoy
a bit of personality and fun on the oche, book your
place as soon as possible.
It promises to be great entertainment
featuring darts and characters from the time when
darts really was fun.
THE WAY TO LEGENDS IT!
Had someone fishing on the lakes recently
and he suddenly said: ‘How’s old cucumber
these days? Do you see him around??’
Well, it took me straight back to
the 1980s, because that was my nickname for Martin
Fitzmaurice, and this geezer still remembered it!
‘Why did you call him that,
Bob?’ he asked. ‘Was it something to do
with a certain part of his anatomy??’ I had
to laugh…..’No’ I said. ‘It’s
because a cucumber has no calories, has no vitamins,
it’s 99% water, it does nothing for your system,
in fact, it’s f….g useless!’
He almost lost the fish he had just
hooked because he was laughing so much, but I had
to explain that Martin is a very humorous man and
knew that I was always pulling his leg – or
THAT’S THE WAY TO CUCUMBER IT!
Which brings me on to the subject
of MC’s and Referees in darts. Martin was my
MC in the early days and we got on very well in exhibitions.
He had the gift of the gab (and still does) and we
would ad-lib all night and get loads of laughs.
A master of his craft, just like Phil
Jones, who was another great MC who worked with me
for a long time. And look what happened to Roy ‘Chubby’
Brown after he worked as my MC……That’s
right, he became a foul-mouthed comedian who has earned
a fortune. Maybe I made the wrong decision as the
bloke who throws the darts??
There is a real difference between
an MC and a Referee.
A Ref just calls the game and that’s
it. An MC can call, entertain and talk at the same
time, and it is a skill that can only be learned through
exhibitions. There are only a few good MC’s,
and I’ve mentioned three in particular in this
column: Phil Jones, now sadly retired; Martin Fitzmaurice,
still the guv’nor, and Little Richard Ashdown
who, mark my words, will be an outstanding MC of the
future. Just like we need young players, so we need
young Refs and MC’s.
Trouble is, some of the Refs today
aren’t good enough. Certainly not for me. You
can’t grade cucumbers, but you can grate them!
What about lady referees? I have no
objections to good lady referees, but I wouldn’t
want them making any Booby’s!
I also think that International games
would benefit from inviting a referee from the respective
country that is being player. I mentioned Jacques
Nieuwlatt, who refereed in the recent England v Netherlands
friendly. It’s a dream for a non-player to officiate
at a big game, and I think Scottish, Welsh, Irish
and overseas referees should get more opportunities
in the future.
THAT’S THE WAY TO REF IT!
Must close by telling you about my
recent trip to Scotland, where I was guest speaker
at a Sportsman’s Dinner held at the wonderfully
named Auld Hoose in Dunlop. I almost asked if there
was a moose about the Hoose, but I’m sure they
might have heard that one before!
There were 60 guests and I spoke to
them for over an hour about the life and times of
Bobby George, and much to my surprise, they loved
listening to it as much as I enjoyed telling it!
I think what amazed them was that
I had no notes (I told them that this was because
I can’t write) and what I said came from the
head and the heart. The memories came flooding back
of a tough childhood and my old dad: Blind and tough,
making sure that I stood on my own two feet at all
times. Except when he knocked me off ‘em of
It was an enjoyable night (see photo)
and proved to me yet again that the folk north of
the border are a good crowd.
That’s it for another week,
but I would like to share a little piece of wisdom
that I gave to my postman. He used to be a bank manager,
but when he retired he fancied delivering the mail
(takes all sorts). Anyway, one morning he came to
the house and the dogs were barking, so I went outside
and said hello.
‘How long have you been doing
this now?’ I asked. ‘Must be five years’
he replied. ‘The time goes so fast at my age’.
Well, I couldn’t resist could
I? ‘Yes much faster than the post!’ I
good, be lucky and remember to be nice to your postman.