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July 2007:
T
HAT'S THE WAY TO DO IT! By BOBBY GEORGE


 

Didn’t he do well? My boy Richie got to the final of the Junior IDL and should have won it. But, he played well, looked good (almost as good as the old man) and showed that he can perform on the big stage (just like the old man!).

That’s what’s so important about introducing youngsters at the very highest levels of darts. He had all the lights, cameras and razzamatazz and loved it (just like the old man) and I was proud of him.

THAT’S THE WAY TO DO IT!

Didn’t they do well? The BDO/WDF players in this year’s IDL proved that, despite all the hype, they are as good (or even better) than the rest of them. But then, as a darts player, I know better than most that darts is on the day and at the very highest level there is only one or two darts in it.

Watching on the internet was frustrating because the coverage from SBS is nowhere near as good as we get on BBC or Sky, and every time the screen froze (which was often) I felt like putting my foot through it!

It was a good tournament for top-class darts and out of all the players I have to congratulate young Mark Webster and Gary Anderson on getting to the final without losing a single game.

In a tournament with two Round Robin sections that is a bit special….as was a final without an Englishman or Dutchman in sight!

Despite all the hype and bragging at times, darts still remains one of the most exciting and unpredictable sports on the planet, and great television.

Well done to all those who made the 2007 IDL something that none of us would have predicted beforehand (if that makes sense?).

THAT’S THE WAY TO DART IT!

Do You Think I’m Stupid? Answers on a postcard please!

Seriously, I am not asking that question about myself because, as I explained in my May column, this is the title for a brand new ITV-1 celebrity series at prime time this autumn.

Those who were paying attention will know that I am up against Vanessa Feltz - not in the physical meaning of the description, but more in a mental capacity. She’s off her trolley and I’m perfectly sane!!

Only joking, Vanessa! The object of the TV show is that I pick a subject for her and she picks one for me to be quizzed on in front of a studio audience and hopefully a huge TV audience on ITV.

Anyway, I picked fishing for her and she picked the life and times of…wait for it….Geoffrey Chaucer for me!! Blimey, she becomes a hooker (if you see what I mean) and I become a booker, because I had to gen up on loads of books about Chaucer, learn about his great works like ‘Canterbury Tales’ and get my head around the old English language, as well as Latin.

All this from someone who left school with nothing more than a life-saving badge and a school report that doomed me to obscurity!

Well, we have now done the show and, without giving too much away, no one can ever call me stupid again – especially Vanessa.

I was introduced on the show as being: ‘Great on the Oche. Someone who can build anything. A great actor……but Bobby doesn’t enjoy reading!

The perfect summing up, but I proved that I can read loads of books, soak up information and answer loads of questions, not only on Chaucer, but also in a general knowledge round.

As I say, I won’t give too much away, but the shapely shape of Miss Feltz was seen exiting the building after the show without so much as a goodbye!

Mind you, she did send me an email the next day which simply read: ‘Bobby, you are the dog’s b.ll..ks!!

Says it all really!

The series of ‘Don’t Call Me Stupid’ begins an 8 week run on ITV-1 from September 27th at 10PM. Make a note in your diaries now, but don’t worry, I am sure I will be giving you plenty of reminders!

THAT’S THE WAY TO CHAUCER IT

 

Latest news from the England Darts Organisation is that the new England Open will be played from April 11th to 13th, 2008 with ‘yours truly’ dusting off his white jacket to host the event.

Little Richard Ashdown will once again MC and referee, and we are promised exhibition matches featuring the two England Captains, Martin Adams and Trina Gulliver...zzzzzzZZ. Only joking.

Honest….ZZZZZZzzzzzz!! You got to have a laugh!!

I am told that prize money will be in excess of £15,000 with both the Men’s and Women’s Singles Champions taking home a very tasty £2,000 each. Nice to see the ladies picking up some decent prize money.

On top of this, I am delighted to say that there will also be a free-to-enter Youth Event for the talented boys and girls who are the future of our sport.

The Chichester-based Bunn Leisure Park, which can accommodate an incredible 14,000 people, will be the venue for this first major event to be staged and organised by the EDO following the restructuring of the organisation.

This three-day event might seem a long way off, but it deserves lots of support from players and supporters.

THAT’S THE WAY TO EDO IT!

On the subject of darts exhibitions, the ultimate is coming along shortly with a ‘Darts Legends Tour’ featuring myself, Keith Deller, Eric Bristow, Cliff Lazarenko.

It will herald my return to the Circus Tavern, Purfleet at the end of August, when I can be assured of a warmer welcome than the one I received earlier in January, and it will have nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with the audience and those organising the event!

I have agreed to do a limited number of dates, so if you fancy seeing how the old-un’s do it (I am talking about playing darts) and enjoy a bit of personality and fun on the oche, book your place as soon as possible.

It promises to be great entertainment featuring darts and characters from the time when darts really was fun.

THAT’S THE WAY TO LEGENDS IT!

Had someone fishing on the lakes recently and he suddenly said: ‘How’s old cucumber these days? Do you see him around??’

Well, it took me straight back to the 1980s, because that was my nickname for Martin Fitzmaurice, and this geezer still remembered it!

‘Why did you call him that, Bob?’ he asked. ‘Was it something to do with a certain part of his anatomy??’ I had to laugh…..’No’ I said. ‘It’s because a cucumber has no calories, has no vitamins, it’s 99% water, it does nothing for your system, in fact, it’s f….g useless!’

He almost lost the fish he had just hooked because he was laughing so much, but I had to explain that Martin is a very humorous man and knew that I was always pulling his leg – or his cucumber!

THAT’S THE WAY TO CUCUMBER IT!

Which brings me on to the subject of MC’s and Referees in darts. Martin was my MC in the early days and we got on very well in exhibitions. He had the gift of the gab (and still does) and we would ad-lib all night and get loads of laughs.

A master of his craft, just like Phil Jones, who was another great MC who worked with me for a long time. And look what happened to Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown after he worked as my MC……That’s right, he became a foul-mouthed comedian who has earned a fortune. Maybe I made the wrong decision as the bloke who throws the darts??

There is a real difference between an MC and a Referee.

A Ref just calls the game and that’s it. An MC can call, entertain and talk at the same time, and it is a skill that can only be learned through exhibitions. There are only a few good MC’s, and I’ve mentioned three in particular in this column: Phil Jones, now sadly retired; Martin Fitzmaurice, still the guv’nor, and Little Richard Ashdown who, mark my words, will be an outstanding MC of the future. Just like we need young players, so we need young Refs and MC’s.

Trouble is, some of the Refs today aren’t good enough. Certainly not for me. You can’t grade cucumbers, but you can grate them!

What about lady referees? I have no objections to good lady referees, but I wouldn’t want them making any Booby’s!

I also think that International games would benefit from inviting a referee from the respective country that is being player. I mentioned Jacques Nieuwlatt, who refereed in the recent England v Netherlands friendly. It’s a dream for a non-player to officiate at a big game, and I think Scottish, Welsh, Irish and overseas referees should get more opportunities in the future.

THAT’S THE WAY TO REF IT!

Must close by telling you about my recent trip to Scotland, where I was guest speaker at a Sportsman’s Dinner held at the wonderfully named Auld Hoose in Dunlop. I almost asked if there was a moose about the Hoose, but I’m sure they might have heard that one before!

There were 60 guests and I spoke to them for over an hour about the life and times of Bobby George, and much to my surprise, they loved listening to it as much as I enjoyed telling it!

I think what amazed them was that I had no notes (I told them that this was because I can’t write) and what I said came from the head and the heart. The memories came flooding back of a tough childhood and my old dad: Blind and tough, making sure that I stood on my own two feet at all times. Except when he knocked me off ‘em of course!

It was an enjoyable night (see photo) and proved to me yet again that the folk north of the border are a good crowd.

That’s it for another week, but I would like to share a little piece of wisdom that I gave to my postman. He used to be a bank manager, but when he retired he fancied delivering the mail (takes all sorts). Anyway, one morning he came to the house and the dogs were barking, so I went outside and said hello.

‘How long have you been doing this now?’ I asked. ‘Must be five years’ he replied. ‘The time goes so fast at my age’.

Well, I couldn’t resist could I? ‘Yes much faster than the post!’ I said!!!

Be good, be lucky and remember to be nice to your postman.




 

 

 

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