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February 2008:

This is supposed to be the most romantic month of the year, or so Marie tells me!

I shouldn’t need to tell everyone that February 14th is St.Valentine’s Day. Nothing to do with the famous Mafia Massacre(though it’s pretty close!), but the one day of the year on which all we men are supposed to show our love and devotion to our ladies by sending cards, flowers and chocolates.

I’ve been doing this for years – ask Marie – but this time I have gone one better with an interview in the Scotsman newspaper telling the world what I know about women!

Not a lot according to Marie!

The thing is, it’s very appropriate because I actually met Marie on Valentine’s Day some 25 years ago, and it was love at first sight! Honest!! The minute I clapped eyes on her, I turned to my mate and told him that she was the woman I was going to marry.

It sounds corny, I know, but I just knew that she was perfect for me in every way…..looks, figure, personality, the lot! What a package!!

Mind you, what I didn’t know was that Marie being Marie, was going to be no pushover (she still isn’t!) and she probably (definitely!) wasn’t as keen as me to begin with.

But, Bobby being Bobby, I wasn’t going to take no for an answer and she soon gave way to my charm and suffocation (sorry, I mean sophistication!) and we did start ‘courting’ and two years later we get married.

How romantic is that?


So, in a tribute to Marie and women everywhere, I have decided to turn over a new pairs of pants, and pay tribute to the ladies in our lives. Just put it down to old age or pressure from Marie!

To be honest, I have everything I want in Marie, but having said that I don’t think I have a specific type of lady. What I look for is a good personality, and we all like a bit of shape don’t we? I like curves and voluptuous women (even the word ‘voluptuous’ is a great turn on).

I want someone to cuddle up to. Women with a bit of ‘meat’ on their bones are preferable to straight up, straight down skinny ones!

I reckon women go on diets for themselves, not for their men. Most men are like me, they’re not attracted to walking coat-hangers. To me, when I see a skinny women I just think she needs a good feed.

But that’s just my view and before I’m accused of being sexist, I have to tell you that I like all women really. It’s just that some –like Marie – have special assets (I can think of two in particular!) that set them out from the crowd.


Now it’s ‘true confession’ time because I was married before Marie. Don’t worry, she already knew! I was only 22, and to be honest that was far too young. Men don’t mature as quickly as women.

I should have waited until I was 40, because like most young men, the path of true love was in my trousers, if you know what I mean!

Women in their 20’s are probably ready to commit to a long term relationship, but men in their 20’s are just idiots! I know I was! Marie says I still am!!

In the same way, men are more likely to be selfish – preferring a few pints down the pub and a game (or two) of darts with the lads, instead of a cuddle in front of the fire.

Women are the ones who are more happy to stay in and have a kiss and a cuddle! Can you imagine that? A kiss and a cuddle instead of a game of darts? What’s the world coming to??


Seriously, whenever we go on holiday, it is Marie who is worrying about the kids and always ringing them up to check if they are OK. I would never even think about that. Robert is now 20 and Richard is 18, so I assume that they can look after themselves and are probably pretty happy that we are not around to nag them!

But women love their families and never stop worrying about their kids. What would we do without them (the women I mean?). Knowing what men are like, we’d probably go down to the pub more often and drink more!

Again, this is just my opinion, but I reckon that love means far more to a woman than it does to a man. Don’t get me wrong. I probably love Marie more now than I did when we were younger.

It’s an age thing. We’ve grown up together and got used to each other in every way – good and bad. But, I don’t show it in the same way that she does to me. Women can (and do) devote themselves completely to those they love, while we men can devote our lives to far more things (like beer and darts and fishing and being selfish!).

Women are the superior sex – Marie is always telling me so – because they are loving, giving and extremely loyal.


But then, Marie is not just my wife. She’s been my manager for more than 20 years and when she says ‘jump’ I ask her ‘how high?’ We’re definitely a team. A partnership. We are in this life together even though she’s always telling me what to do!

She’s great at what she does and looks after me totally. If I ran a business I would only employ women (is that sexist?) because they’re always on time, they’re organised, they look better than men, and they make sure the bills get paid and the money comes in!

Marie is exactly like that, and so was my dear old mum. Let’s face it, us blokes will never be as organised as the ladies. Not only can they juggle many things (I was going to say balls, but I might get a kick in them!) at once, but they care about stuff far more than we do.

It’s true to say that me and Marie have the perfect relationship. We are happily married, we work together and we spend a lot of time together. OK, she nags me all the time and even shouts at me sometimes, but we don’t really argue.

When we have words I go down the lakes and fish. There’s no point in confrontation with women. You’ll always lose! To be honest women are like the weather. You either get lots of sunshine, or it’s p****ing down! The weathermen describe it best of all: Changeable!!

There’s not much more I can say on the subject, except to remind all you men out there not to forget St.Valentine’s Day. Send the woman you love a romantic card, a bunch of flowers and a nice box of chocolates.

At least you’ll get a bit of affection and some peace and quiet for one day in the year!!

Only joking, Marie! Honest!!!!!


Had a lovely night when I went along to West London Darts League to present the trophies. Nice to see Wayne Mardle there as well. He’s a good player and always smiling. Like me, he loves ‘fun’ darts.

Jason Clark invited me and he’s what I would call a real ‘diamond’. He does so much for the League and for darts in general, and is one of the many unsung heroes who make everything work so that we players can play.

Well done, Jason. You deserve a medal – or a row of ‘em!

Another hard working official who has given everything and a bit more to darts is John Innes. He’s now in his 80’s and I was delighted when West London presented him with a ‘Lifelong Achievement Award’.

No one deserves it more than John and, guess what? He actually sang my ‘180’ song and made it sound much better than I ever could!


The Legends darts show had a great night at the Circus Tavern. It was packed, the darts was good and the hospitality of guv’nor Peter Rou was as good as it always is.

Peter fishes at George Hall and we have been friends of many years, so it is always good to go there with the darts.

And all the legends were there: Eric Bristow, Keith Deller, Cliff Lazarenko and someone called Bobby George! Oh yes, Phil Taylor and Wayne Mardle also came along to play each other.

What you might call a full house of darts, and with Eric, Cliff, Keith and me donating a set of darts, and Phil and Wayne donating darts shirts, we have now raised some £3,000 towards a Variety Club Sunshine Coach.

Not bad for a few darts players!


We are hoping to do some more Legends Show in the future, and I send thanks again to Peter Rou on behalf of everyone for making the night so successful.

That’s it for another month. Keep happy. Keep smiling and May The Darts Be With you…..





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